October 27, 2014 Post-Op Doctor Visit #1

My niece, Pamela, has been staying with me during the day. She has been a life safer-cleaning, washing clothes, fixing my lunch, just keeping me company. My friend, Dina, stayed one day as well. I've enjoyed all the visits from family, church members, and friends. You have no idea how your visits have uplifted me.

Today we had our first post-op ultrasound. We were so looking forward to seeing little Rayden. Although it was tough to walk to the office I did enjoy the sunshine. The ultrasound technician, Stephen, took us back and allowed me to walk real slow. He was very nice. He tried everything he could to see the baby's face and measure his length, but Rayden was not cooperating. He had his feet above his head! No lie, I thought, "He's going to be a Yoga expert!" His knees were squished into his little nose. The technician kept poking and shaking and finally asked me to roll over to my side. Rayden pushed his knee over with his hand and smiled. It melted our hearts! Then he pulled that knee back and snuggled up to it like a pillow. The technician said he had plenty of fluid and room in there. Some babies just like to be cuddled up. The technician continued on and looked for the other things he needed. He said Rayden met 6 out of 8 possible markers. He received all points except the 2 points for breathing, but he's really too young for that anyway. So I thought that was great. He couldn't see his lesion due to the way he was positioned and he had a hard time measuring the ventricles in his brain for fluid. He finally did tell us that they have grown. Before the surgery they were 16mm. Now one side is 18mm. and the other side is 28mm!! Almost doubled!! We were very upset. Dr. Goodnight said he didn't really know what to think of that. He said the surgery normally reduces the size of the ventricles. He thought it would have at least stabilized by now. If HE doesn't know what to think of it, what should WE think? They said Rayden was eating. He even got the hiccups during the ultrasound! So cute.

I know it's a little blurry but you can see Rayden's little face. That cute little pug nose and those chubby cheeks! Use your imagination and you can see his foot beside his face. 

Dr. Goodnight said I was doing great. He liked the looks of my incision and the chart I made to record all my medication. He told me to continue to do absolutely nothing!! He said he wanted me so bored that I was doing next year's lesson plans! Now, all my teacher friends know how bored I must become, haha! Today I've kept busy by writing Thank You cards and updating my blog. 

Instead of going back to Rex next week, he wants me to travel to UNC Chapel Hill. So, Tuesday, Nov. 4, is my next appointment. I pray that Rayden has stretched back out. I hate seeing him like that. I pray even harder that his ventricles have reduced in size tremendously. 

On a lighter note, I finally got my body pillow. This thing is amazing. It replaced all 6 pillows I had on my bed. The support it give my stomach, back, and legs is awesome. I love it! 

October 19, 2014 First Day Home

It has felt so good to be home although my first night sleeping in my own bed was miserable. I couldn't roll over and I didn't want to wake Michael to ask for pillows to put behind my back. I felt like he had taken such good care of me that he deserved to sleep. About 4:00, medicine time, I was so miserable that I had to wake him. He got me six pillows, one for each side of my body, one under each knee, one for my stomach and one for my head. I felt so much better. You wouldn't believe how hard it is just to roll over when you've been cut down the middle of your body!! The pain is almost unbearable. Its funny how many stomach muscles you use just to hold yourself on your side as well. I'm going to order a body pillow tomorrow!

Today is our 23rd Wedding Anniversary. I knew it was coming so before I went into the hospital I bought the sweetest card I could find, wrote a loving note and stashed it under the alarm clock. This morning I asked Michael to get it out. He was so moved that I remembered even after everything was going on. He went to the store to purchase some items for dinner and brought back a tasty dessert. How thoughtful.

Michael's parents, my parents, my son and his girlfriend, my sister, niece, brother-in-law, and dear friends- Barbara and Gerome have come over to see us. My church family has begun bringing us supper each night. I can taste their love in every single bite. My niece, Pamela, has been staying with me during the day so Michael can work. Words cannot express how thankful I am for each and every person that has come by, sent a card, called, text, emailed, said a prayer or even just read my blog. The support I feel is unbelievable and I can't wait for Rayden to meet you all.  

Oct. 21-Maya called today to see how I was doing. She seemed impressed by our progress. She also reminded me that our first post-op doctors appointment is scheduled for Monday, Oct. 27. Can't wait to see Rayden again. 

October 15-18, 2014 Post-Op

The past few days have been filled with every emotion possible.

Pain-They took out a lot of IV's, wires, and pipes, and disconnected me from some of the machines. I had so many holes in my hands they looked like pin cushions. They moved me to another room on another floor. I was really scared to move and it hurt so bad. When I arrived in my new room I was complaining so bad that the nurse gave me a shot of morphine. I think I died because I didn't know anything for over an hour. It actually felt nice to sleep.

Frustration-It took them 2 1/2 days to take out the epidural! This was a little depressing and funny at the same time. I couldn't feel my legs and that is such a strange feeling. The nurses had to rotate me every two hours so I didn't get bed soars. Talk about feeling paralyzed!! I couldn't even move my toes. Alex got the biggest laugh out of it. He would ask me to move my toes and I would make the funniest face trying with no results.

Embarrassment-I still had the epidural and catheter, so I was not able to get up or even move. During this time they were giving me Milk of Magnesia. Must I continue? I couldn't feel anything from my waste down. I don't know why they were trying to make my bowels move when I couldn't get up. Seems like they just asked for that one. I was super embarrassed.

Miserable- After surgery you have a lot of air pockets in your stomach. Although they continued to give me Gas-X. It just felt like a Civil War was going on in there. If you've ever felt it, you know how miserable this can be.

Overjoyed-When they finally took out the epidural and catheter it took a couple of hours, but I finally began to feel like a real person again. Scared of the pain awaiting me, but excited that I could use the bathroom on my own.

Brave- Getting up to walk out of the room was so scary, but I knew that I would never get any better if I didn't move around. The first night I only walked 1 1/2 laps around the nurses station. The second day I walked 2 entire laps that morning and 3 that evening. The third day I walked a total of 11 laps. They were calling me a rock star!

Love-I can't even begin to say how much my husband expressed his love for me during this time. He got me anything I wanted; drink, food, blankets, medicine, pillows, ice, etc. He waited on me hand and foot. He ordered my food. He fed me when I would fall asleep feeding myself. He cleaned me up and sponge bathed me after my accident, and shower bathed me when I could get in and sit down. He washed my hair, brushed it and put it up in a pony tail. He dressed me and walked with me every step down the hall. He pushed me in a wheelchair down the hall just to get some air and put a smile on my face. I couldn't have asked for a better man to share this journey with.

Comfort- Alex, Linda, Glenn, and Justin were there every day to visit us. My mother, father, sister and niece came a couple times. Our dear friend, Gerome, and our pastor, the Williamson Family, visited as well. So many others called or text daily to check on me. What an outpouring of love.

Happy- Rayden has had three ultrasounds each showing great results. The amniotic fluid is filling back up. He is eating and moving. He really is a trooper. This hasn't seemed to bother him at all. I'm the one having such a hard time. I'm so happy he is not affected and hopefully isn't feeling any pain.

Inspired- I was told there was another patient that had the same surgery the exact day as me who was in the hospital as well. I asked if I could meet her and we could support each other. It took us a couple of days to feel well enough to meet, but we finally got the strength to do so. She is having a boy as well. Their names are going to be similar. It was amazing to hear her story, so familiar to mine. Our due dates are close as well, so hopefully we will be able to stay in touch.

Excitement- When they said I could go home if I wanted, I was overjoyed. I was still in a lot of pain, but I knew I would have plenty of support at home and I would heal faster in my own environment. Michael started packing so fast. I think he was more excited than me. Yes, the ride home was a little long and painful, but entering my own house made it all worth it.

Alex entertaining us with a glove!

October 14, 2014 BUTT DAY

Rayden's "Butt Day" 

(10-14-14 is Rayden's Butt Day-not Birthday, because this is the day his 'butt' sees the world. Haha!)

After a sleepless night of praying for baby Rayden, we arrived at UNC at 9:00. They took us directly back to a room and started an IV. Of course it took three people to get the IV. One of them blew up like a balloon under my skin. Several people came to see me and introduce themselves. They were all so excited about the opportunity to view such a rare surgery. Michael, Justin, Alex and myself waited for a few hours until they came to take me down. I was so nervous. They wheeled me past the rest of my family but Michael, Justin, and Alex were able to come with me downstairs. When Maya told them this was the end of the line I remember looking up to a family full of tears. All my grown, strong men were crying. I think they were scared as well. I entered a large hallway that had curtains on both sides. They wheeled me into one of these rooms and shut the curtain. I spoke with two medical students that were so excited to be able to view my surgery. I really didn't feel like entertaining them. I was so nervous. Dr. Goodnight came in and told me that it would be another 30 minutes because they were cleaning the Operating Room. He told the nurse to allow my husband to come back to sit with me. Soon Michael, Justin, and Alex were in the room keeping me company.

Dr. Elton came to speak with us before the surgery along with many other team members. Soon a nurse put a funny blue hat on my head and an anesthesiologist asked me to drink a mixture in a little brown cup. He stated that it tasted like salty sweet tarts. It was nasty but I was amazed that he had the best description possible for the taste. They took my glasses and wheeled me into the OR. All I could see was a bunch of people in green suits. They reminded me of aliens. They asked me to sit on a cold, metal table. One man was holding my hands and the other man behind me started placing the epidural in my back. I actually couldn't feel a thing. After lying down on a yellow doughnut shaped jello pillow a lady asked if I had hair ties in my hair. I stated I had two of them. I lifted my head for her to remove them and that's all I remember. I didn't count to 10. I didn't have a sleeping mask. That was it. The doctors called Michael every hour on his cell phone to keep him informed of our progress. I woke up hours later back in the room upstairs with hundreds of people around my bed. Wires, needles, pipes, monitors of all sorts coming from my body in every place you could imagine. I remember not even being able to open my eyes or pick up my fingers! I remember being in so much pain and crying-begging Dr. Goodnight not to leave me. I heard him say, "Fix this." and that was it. I passed out again. I know people came to see me, but I couldn't tell you who they were. The remainder of that night was excruciating. The magnesium sulfate I was on to stop the contractions made me so hot and sick. I couldn't make full sentences. I would just say words like "hot", "sick", "legs", "shaking". My son, Alex, rubbed my feet. I know its weird that I say that felt good when I had an epidural block and couldn't really feel my feet or legs, but it DID feel good. Michael and Alex would pick up my legs, give me a throw up pan, pull the covers off, wash my face, give me ice, cover me back up, and hold me down to help me stop shaking. This was a continuous process all night long. I remember saying, "baby...moving". Everyone thought that was so wonderful. It HURT so I wanted him to stop. Dr. Elton said the babies surgery was "textbook". He was a trooper and did wonderful. I suppose he was doing great considering he was already moving just a little while after surgery. I thought I was dying, no lie! I'm not going to sugar coat it. It was the toughest thing I have ever gone through. I'm so thankful my family was there to help me through each contraction and push me through. I know God was there helping me stay sedated as much as possible. I could feel all the prayers being lifted up. I would do it all again to help my sweet, innocent, little baby.

Graphic pictures of our surgery

In the picture above you can see my uterus has been taken OUT of my body, and cut open. 

Inside you see a bubble on Rayden's back. This is his myelomeningocele. 

The picture above shows the defect in his back after the bubble has burst. 

Above you see his little spinal chord exposed and the surgeons starting to stitch his 

skin back together covering the defect. 

Look closely and you will see Rayden's back all stitched up inside my uterus. 

Now to sew me back up. 

My uterus getting sewn back together. Now to place it all back inside my body. 

All of this just amazes me. The knowledge God has given these surgeons just testifies of his power. I KNOW God has big plans for Rayden and we feel so blessed to be chosen as his parents. 

October 13, 2014 Pre-Op

We went for our pre-op appointment today. First stop was the ultrasound. We were very excited to see Rayden again. I couldn't wait to see if all this movement was coming from his legs or just his arms. The ultrasound technician was too worried about other things while he WAS moving to see if he was moving his legs or not. When she finally decided to watch a bit, he stopped moving. Of course! She did say that he weighed 1lb, 6 oz., which is good for his age. He is within the 58th percentile for his gestational age. But she said the fluid in his brain has now increased from 13mm to 16mm. I was very upset about this. She also showed us that both feet are clubbed. Maya took us upstairs to Labor and Delivery where we got checked in and waited for everyone else to come see us. They took my blood and vital signs. We spoke with an anesthesiologist, Dr. Goodnight's associate, and Dr. Elton's associate. There were a lot papers to sign. They are still going ahead with the surgery tomorrow even though his ventricles measured 16mm. I suppose that's good. We must be there at 9 am. Surgery is scheduled for 12:00 noon. We checked into a motel for the night because the Ronald McDonald house is having a mold problem so they are only using half of their building. They were full but at least we got a discounted rate at the motel. After eating a large meal at the Outback Steakhouse we are settling in to hopefully get a good nights rest. I know that God is in control but it is still hard not to worry. 

October 10 Last day of work

I'm so thankful that I've been able to return to work these past few weeks. Although my heart has been heavy at least work kept my mind occupied. Today was my last day. I knew it was going to be hard to tell my students goodbye but I hadn't expected to cry the entire day! Former students came to see me as well. So heartwarming. My dear friend, Anne, made everyone yellow ribbons in honor of Spina Bifida Awareness Month. The entire staff wore them in our honor. At the end of the day my coworkers planned a devotional time. They gathered around me and read two scriptures and three people prayed while hands were held or on me. Yes, I said prayed in school! (Although it was really AFTER school) Ms. Howard, our principal, presented me with a love offering they had been taking up these past few weeks. I didn't look down to see that she had written an amount on the outside of the envelope. I was too busy hugging everyone and thanking them for their prayers. As I gathered my things to leave I placed the envelope in my bag. I noticed the amount on the outside. WOW! I just cried again. The staff at CES are truly the best!! They have been donating leave days to me so that I could continue to get paid. I thought that was more than generous, but to see the amount on the outside of that envelope... I can't begin to say how blessed and loved I feel. I thank God for each and every one of them and for placing me at a school of believers.

September 22, 2014 Baby Named

It felt weird actually getting dressed, putting on makeup, fixing my hair, and driving a car because I had not done any of these things in 11 days! I contacted Maya at UNC to inform her that we had made a decision so she got the ball rolling and cancelled the termination. In a few days she contacted me and scheduled the surgery for Oct. 14. Michael and I decided we had better give this baby a name. After nights of debating we finally decided that his name would be Rayden Trace Bradley. Ray is Michael's middle name and Trace kinda sounds like my name, Teresa. Trace (tres) is also the number 3 in Spanish. No, we are not Hispanic, but we thought it was neat seeing as he will be our third child.

Sept. 27-Michael, Gerome, Glenn and I painted the baby's room. We are doing all kinds of things to prepare as much as possible for Rayden's arrival.

I know everyone has been praying for us and we can feel it. I want to thank everyone for their kind words, comments, cards, phone calls, emails, texts, food, etc. You all have no idea how much we feel your love and appreciate every one of you. 

This is Rayden's story, and my plan is to just take it page by page. Some chapters might be harder than others, but there will never be another book like his.

September 19, 2014 Our answer revealed

Today I am dying inside because I have to call Erin Eaton at Rex to tell her to go ahead and schedule the termination. Even though I knew we could still cancel the appointment, it absolutely killed me just to call and schedule it. Throughout the entire day I did a lot of soul searching and praying, waiting for God to give us the answer. As I scrolled through the internet like I had been doing every single day, I came across a song that I had never heard before. This was an artist that I had never even heard of as well. Somehow it showed up on my ipad and I listened to it. Music speaks to me more than anything else so I listened. The first sentence as well as the chorus spoke volumes to me. I knew we could not terminate this life. 

Little did I know that Michael had received a daily devotion from a friend that he receives every morning that had been tugging on his heart all day as well. When he returned home from work he shared the devotion with me. John 11.4. "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it." He didn't read anymore of the devotion. This one line spoke to him. We discussed everything and decided at about 11:00 pm that we would not terminate this life, but leave it in God's hands.

This is a journey that we will embark together. Wherever it leads, at least we know that we struggled greatly, prayed diligently and did not make this decision lightly, and we would travel this journey together.

Sept. 20-Although I had been feeling the baby move for two weeks now, Michael had not felt him at all. We were lying in bed after a night of great sleep, the first one in weeks, now that this burden of decision had been lifted. The baby started moving so much. I grabbed Michael's hand and placed it in the spot I had felt the baby move. It took a while, but I knew the second he felt him. He jumped and asked, "Is that him?" I almost started crying from the instant joy I felt knowing that Michael could finally feel our son. It felt like a reassurance that we had made the right decision.

We were thrilled to share with everyone the decision that we had made. I thought I could even go back to work for a while until the surgery is scheduled. Maybe life will be a little close to normal for a little while.

September 18, 2014 Multiple consults with the 'team' at UNC Chapel Hill

We arrived at UNC Chapel Hill at 11:00. Maya was our 'tour guide' for the day.
*We met with Dr. Alexander from the Spina Bifida clinic via skype. That was interesting. I took my book full of questions and he answered every one. He specifically told us that he believed our baby would be able to walk with braces and not be constrained to a wheel chair. He also told us to raise him just like we did our other boys. Not to baby him or cater to his disabilities.
*Dr. Elton, the Neurosurgeon, told us that he was 99.9% sure our baby does not have any brain damage right now. I asked him to say it over and over three times as I broke down in tears. He informed us of his part of the surgery and it is just amazing what all they can do.
*Dr. Ross, the Urologist, informed us of so many different ways they could help children living with bladder/bowel dis-function. She even said the baby may or may not have sensation to be able to urinate. So many positive comments just reassures us that maybe it's not as bad as it could be.
*Dr. Laughon, the Neonatologist, informed us of the procedures in the NICU and when they would and would not resuscitate.
*Dr. Smith, the Anesthesiologist, gave us her perspective on what they would be doing to take care of me and the baby during surgery. She listened to my heart and found I had a slight heart murmur. I've never heard anyone say that to me before so this was surprising.
*We visited the NICU, Labor and Delivery and the cafe.
We left around 4:00. Such a long day full of so much information. They really wanted us to try and make a decision by Friday.

September 12, 2014 Broken Heart

Sept. 12-Although it was Michael's birthday, we couldn't celebrate anything. We haven't slept in 2 nights and all we could do was cry and ask why. Friends, family and church members started coming over and bringing food. Glenn went to SC to pick up Linda. Michael's brother, Jeffery, drove up from Alabama to be with us. We didn't know he was coming and fell to pieces when he walked in. It meant a lot to us. All our friends and family have been so supportive but no one can tell us what to do.

Sept. 13-We had a family meeting to discuss things. I wanted to make sure everyone understood the severity of what was happening and what the doctors were asking us to do. Alex sat beside me with his head on my shoulder the entire meeting. Yes, the decision is ultimately up to me and Michael, but the burden will be carried by our entire family. No one told us what to do, but all said they would stand behind us whatever decision we made.

Sept. 14-Michael has been dealing with this by keeping busy. He had mowed the grass and started painting the bathroom. I haven't eaten much or slept any in 4 nights. We called UNC to get some sleeping medication before I had a total breakdown. After taking the medicine I slept for 4 hours. Michael has been such a rock. He has picked me up off the floor from a total, complete melt down in the baby's room, held the trash while I threw up from crying so hard, carried me to the couch when I passed out from exhaustion and held me tight all night just to make me feel safe. I love him more now than ever before.

Sept. 15-Maya Lindley, Perinatal Care Specialist from UNC Chapel Hill, called to tell me that the appointments with the 'team' would be Sept. 18. I started researching and writing down any and all questions we had. The rest of this week was filled with internet research, praying, crying, and talking. We met with Pastor Williamson, and Pastor Warren. I skyped and spoke on the phone with parents of children of spina bifida. I spoke with a mother who had terminated and two who chose life. I also joined a Facebook group of mothers who had the fetal surgery. It meant so much to be able to speak with so many families. These parents and children are so strong. We just had so many questions...

They say the darkest part is always right before the dawn. Well, I'm holding on by a thread and I'm about to fall off!! Where is the dawn? God, if you can send a burning bush to Moses, give a boy the strength to defeat Goliath, raise the dead bones of Lazarus, and feed five-thousand with a couple fish and a loaf of bread, then why, why, why won't you heal this baby, or just take it from us???? My heart is in 1,000 pieces, maybe even more!! This song explains how I feel.

If you are on a mobile device or cannot view the youtube video below please click the link:    http://youtu.be/cH16B5449Iw 
Or just search for Broken Hallelujah by Mandisa.

September 11, 2014 More Bad News

We arrived at 9:00. I remember that I couldn't even tell the receptionist my name through the tears. Another receptionist knew what was going on and just told me to take a seat. Soon Erin Eaton, the genetic counselor, came out to get us. She took us into a small room to talk about the events from yesterday. I had read the pamphlets and found out that there were 3 kinds of Spina Bifida. Occulta, meningocele,and myelomeningocele. I thought for sure our baby wasn't that bad. She stopped me before I could get any hopes up and informed us that they had diagnosed the worst kind, myelomeningocele. I fell all to pieces so she left the room for a moment. She returned and took us to another room to talk with Dr. Goodnight. He informed us of the defect we were facing. Our baby had an L4 lesion, 12-13mm. of cerebrospinal fluid on his brain, and clubbed feet. He would probably have to walk with braces up to his knees, have no bladder or bowel control/function, and possible brain damage. He was so patient and kind with us that day. He took it real slow showing/informing us of the defect and how they could possibly treat it with utero surgery. He even gave us a couple of breaks. I remember going through 2 entire boxes of tissues. He answered our questions every time, even if we asked the same thing over and over. He had a power point presentation to help guide the discussion. He said that in the state of NC we could terminate a pregnancy as far as 20 weeks 6 days but no farther. I was already 18 1/2 so we didn't have much time to make a decision. After hours of conversation, he stated that if we wanted to do the surgery we were perfect candidates. But he would have to do an amniocentesis before the surgery to look for other abnormalities. We decided to do the amnio that day. Dr. Goodnight took us to another room where there was another ultrasound technician. He was so kind and understanding. He allowed us to see the baby in 3D and even gave us pictures, and a DVD of the ultrasound. We could see the baby moving and kicking. Yes, he was kicking! I got so excited, but Dr. Goodnight told us not to get excited because what he does in utero is not the same as being out of the womb. Dr. Goodnight performed the amnio himself. He informed me every step of the way. It hurt so bad, but I would gladly do it 100 times to trade it for the upcoming days. Dr. Goodnight and Erin want us to go to UNC Chapel Hill to talk to the 'team' of surgeons before we make a final decision. We left the office about 3:30. I called my youngest son, Alex, on the way home to inform him of the news. He was so quite on the phone.

This is so hard! How could this be? Why is this happening? What did I do wrong? Could I have changed this? Will our baby ever walk? Will he live? Will he live a normal life? Is this some kind of punishment? I want answers.... God, why?

September 10, 2014 "18 week ultrasound"

 Sept. 6- I thought I felt the baby today. It felt as if I was going down a hill real fast, like a bubble in the pit of my stomach. I hope that's him, because I haven't felt him at all and I have been worried.

Sept. 10-Our 18 week 3D anatomy ultrasound is scheduled for today. We have been so excited. We couldn't wait to finally see the baby again. We even had a dinner planned with our oldest son, who lives in Raleigh, after the appointment. Everything was going great with the ultrasound. She even said his heart looked great, which is the only thing I thought we had to worry about after the blood test came back normal. After viewing the ultrasound for almost half an hour, I asked the technician why it wasn't in 3D. She stated that it just wasn't cooperating. I didn't really understand what she meant. I just continued to enjoy the black and white view of our little fellow. After an hour, the technician said she was finished. She gave us some pictures and said she would go get the doctor. Michael and I were overjoyed that the baby seemed fine.

Our World Crashes Down

The doctor came in and sat down with a somber face. He stated that he was going to get right to the point. I said, "please do." I thought he was going to say, 'you're having a boy so buckle up.' That's not at all what he said. He stated that they saw something wrong with the baby. I was in shock. What was he talking about? The ultrasound technician hadn't said a word. He stated they saw signs of Spina Bifida. I looked so puzzled I know. He asked if I knew what that was. To tell you the truth, I really didn't. He started saying that the baby has a defect with his spine and there was fluid on his brain. He stated that the baby had clubbed feet, he wasn't moving his legs, and he just kept going on and on. I remember bursting into tears and grabbing Michael's hand as I thought I was going to pass out. They gave me a box of tissues and I didn't know what to do! I remember asking him if he was sure. He said he was 100% sure. If he had any doubt he would send me somewhere else. They brought in another ultrasound technician to look again. They wanted her to see where the lesion was located. They brought in a grief counselor that gave us books and pamphlets. Everything seemed like a dream. I remember the ultrasound technician counting to 5. I didn't know what that meant at the time. The doctor stated that we had to come back tomorrow morning to see Dr. Goodnight because he was the specialist in this area. He said we had 3 options. 1-Terminate, 2-Fetal Surgery, 3-Have the baby and see.

We left the office in such a blur that I don't even know how we got to the car. Michael and I didn't really know what to do, where to go, who to tell or anything! We decided that we had better go on to Justin's apartment because he was waiting for us. We cancelled our dinner plans but we did tell Justin what was going on. Michael drove us to his parents house to tell his Dad. I called my best friend, and teacher assistant, Barbara to tell her that I wouldn't be at school tomorrow and what was going on. Then we came home. I remember crying trying to read the pamphlets we received from the grief counselor. We never ate dinner. We just went to bed to hold each other and cry all night long.

August 8, 2014 Gender Reveal

This is the day we were moving our oldest son, Justin, to Raleigh to attend Campbell Law School. Just before we left the genetic counselor called to reveal the test results. Michael joined me in the car as I spoke with her. She stated that she had good news. The test revealed no chromosomal abnormalities. It also revealed the gender of the baby. Michael and I were excited that the baby was healthy and were glad to tell others this good news, but decided NOT to reveal the gender to anyone yet. Of course everyone was upset about that. August 9- Michael and I had such a great time baking and decorating the big reveal cake. Everyone started calling or texting us to try to get a sneak peak. August 10- We had a Gender Reveal Party. It was so much fun cutting the cake as everyone watched with anticipation. What excitement filled the room when the BLUE cake was revealed.

 

It's a boy!! 

July 30, 2014 Rex

Our visit to UNC Maternal-Fetal Medicine at Rex for a prenatal genetic counseling and high risk consultation was interesting. We met with Dr. Goodnight for about 45 minutes. He discussed all the different tests they could perform from blood work to amniocentesis. Michael and I decided to do the Harmony blood test because it was less invasive than an amnio. It would even tell us the gender of the baby! In order to do the test Dr. Goodnight said he must first perform an ultrasound to look for abnormalities in the babies neck. Oh boy! Another ultrasound! Michael and I enjoyed seeing the baby flip around and around. He/she was so active. Dr. Goodnight stated that all looked good and they didn't even see any signs of a fibroid cyst. Things were looking up all the time.

Now we just have to wait for the genetic counselor to call us back with the test results. Of course, with two boys we are really hoping for a girl. But we are praying for a healthy baby more than anything else. We came home and I went to tell our church family the news. 

July 17, 2014 Initial prenatal visit

I went to Dr. Grays office for an initial prenatal visit. Although he did a little ultrasound July 7th, he could not seem to find it in his computer. He had to do another ultrasound, which was fine with me.
 

                                       

All seemed fine, but he was concerned about a fibroid cyst he found in my uterus. My age, 41, and B12 deficiency, were also cause for alarm. So, Dr. Gray decided we might need to go to Rex to have some genetic testing done. Yes, I was a little nervous so I started researching genetic testing on the Internet. We decided it was time to tell the rest of the family. Michael's mother, Linda, was in SC helping take care of her sister so we traveled there to tell her and Glenn together on July 19. We drove on down to Alabama to tell Michael's brother, Jeffery, as well. I also visited my side of the family that weekend. July 27- we had dinner with our best friends to tell them the news. Everyone seemed so excited and happy. I was still in shock I believe. This certainly wasn't what we thought empty nest syndrome would look like!